The Beginning...
When one first becomes a parent, do you really think about the cost(s)? Or is it just the opportunities that becoming a parent has to offer?
Into days society there are so many ways to become a parent, and the cost implications always seam to be the last thing on most peoples minds;this appears to happens when all you can think about is parenthood.
The chance to do what I believe is the most amazing thing in the world, but the most hardest.
Creating a new life.
For me...
I did not think about the cost of becoming a parent until after my first son was born.
Despite the extra costs that I had already had to take into account when I found out that I was pregnant.
It was strange at first that even buying I pregnancy test kit can cost any where from 99p-£15.00 just to give you the same answer Yes or No.
Then the medical appointments set in, the rearranging of shifts at work, the extra travel, clothes bill and health care supplements. All of this 9 months before your due date.
The list of things that you believe that you are going to need and the wasted time and money on the things that you finally purchase that you will never need or use.
But, who can resist buying baby clothes or children's toys, when you know that you should have brought that extra jar of coffee or toilet roll?
So when that big day finally arrives the last thing that you are thinking about is the future, it is all about the now, making every moment count and trying to cram in as much sleep has you can.
But soon reality creeps up with you and before you know it, children are playing the "I want game", use phrase like "if you love me, you will buy it for me", "Well everyone at school has one." Then before you know it £ signs are flashing before your eyes, bills are flying in and you are living in your overdraft or using loan companies to pay for that car, that prom dress, the electric bill so that the internet can stay on and the children can Skype each other instead of meeting down the park with a football.
So when and how should one or dose one plan and invest in their children's future?
For me it was know picnic...
My plan in life ( the one that get you to do in high school, "where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years and so on.) Well my plan when I was 15 years old was.
- School
- collage
- university
- job
- house
- marry
- children
I thought of nothing different to most people that I know and went to school with. My aim was to not just have a job BUT have a career and become successful. Now in my early thirties, I am in the "same boat" like most of my friends and family are today. I have children to care and provided for, it is very happiness and health I put before my own.
Education and Training...
At school I was never really taught any life skills to prepare me for the pit falls of every day living and the issues that I may have to face. It was all about "you can achieve any thing if you work hard enough", "reach for the stars", "the world is your Oyster". Again these are probably the things that I will end up telling my own children one day.
But then reality sets in and people are say the opposite, "did you not try hard enough?", "lower your expectations" and "are you serious?"
Where am I now?
In my early thirties with two children under the age of two. I have no fixed abode, jobless, penniless and have over ten years of "life skills" a back of me and nothing but a state educating under my belt. I found that being a parent was going to change my life for ever and the one thing that I need to do was plan for my children's future and teach them how to take care of themselves.
I believe that a strong foundation in life is what children need and some financial support unable them to make a "smooth transition" into adulthood. When they can no longer use "The Bank of Mum and Dad".
But more importantly I believe that being able to mange your own money, budget, plan for the future and have the ability to take life as it comes. (anything can happen in a blink of any eye.)
But again how does one plan to do this in today's society?
In today's society there is no longer such a things like,
- A job for life
- A full time 9-17.00 job
- 100 year old mortgage
- Affordable Housing
Today you are lucky if you are not pushing forty and still not living at home, or are you? In the papers they highlighted that you may not even get a mortgage if you are over forty and want to know about how you spend every penny you earn.
This is one of the main things that I love about other culture "Family", and how nothing is more important to them than Family.
This is something that I believe is lost, and forgotten in the UK unless you are bought up to be taught that family and community count.
Yet due to the cost of living, most people in the UK are looking at living under the same roof. With some homes now having three generations. But for many is this out of choice or need?
(Read my next blog to find out) Next blog "Who Lives Under Your Roof? How To Still Have Space Just For You."
Investing in your child's future Continued...
So when we currently live in a time when people, are born into poverty, are forced to rent accommodation at about £600.00 per month, pay bills on top ( average £1,000 per month renting), work zero hour job and still be paid national minim wage every penny counts.
Although the Government have put some financial support in places, offering some benefits to new parents, claiming these benefits is not always easy, usually they must be claimed within curtain time frame or parents are unable to claim at all due to personal circumstances.
Filling in forms as never been my strong point and most of them must be filled in on line. So having internet access is a must into days society.
Some useful websites that I have used in the past, are listed below. I have also set up a few Facebook pages that may help and blogs.
https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculatorshttps://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/department-for-work-pensionshttps://www.turn2us.org.uk/Find-Benefits-Grantshttps://plus.google.com/100746605826197806695/videos (I am, always updating information and changing things.)
What I have found
By talking to other parents about what it is like to be a parent, I have found out one thing. "I am not alone", and some times just over a cup of tea you can help each out and half any problem that you currently might be facing.
I would like to say that being a partner a second time round that I have it cracked. But that is not so, things change with in a blink of an eye. So it is important to try and stay focused and to not take your eye off the ball.
One thing I do...
I try to take an hour once a month or every six months to go though my finances and all of my personal information with partner. I believe that is a must and talking about the three D's even more so.
The Three D's
- Divorce/separation
- Death
- Dementia/Health
Personally...
I know what it like to lose a loved one at a young age. To become too dependent upon one person, to take on the responsibility of every day life. It becomes a huge shock to the system when you find out that you can not even pay the bills because you do not even know what elicit company you are with.
Also probate is a nightmare. I would advise everyone to have at lest one bank account in their own name, with some money in it. This is something that we did for both of our children and passports due to family living outside of the UK.
Presently...
I have chosen to use the HALIFAX Bank, to put some money aside for my children's future. This is due to the bank currently offering the highest interest of 6% on certain children's bank accounts. (I opened in August 2015.) So the money can be transferred and accessed when ever I may need it. But like any bank percentage rates rise and fall, so again I would advice any one who opens up an account to review it a lest once a year and to read the small print.
For more information about banking I would also recommend that you go into a local branch and speak to the staff their direct. Get a feel for the service that they provide and the benefits that they can offer.
Although I use a different bank to my children, I personal love the bank I use. I have been with them for about five years now. I would have used them for my children, if the financial interest was there to do so.
Banking for adult seam to be the same no matter where you bank, most banks are not offering any interest at all. This is why I would be better off having share in "baked beans". For more information and guidance you could always look on websites like.
http://www.moneysupermarket.com
There are a number of websites that you can use to help "Compare the Market" when looking for the right type of Banking that suits you.
These can also help with advise on how to save money on bills, pensions, savings, investments and live insurance.
WARNING!
It took us almost two weeks to make an appointment with the Halifax and the consolation was around two hours to open a new account at the HALIFAX Bank.
The account that I spoke to my partner about opening, was an account that would enable use to withdraw all of the money ASAP if needed. Where other accounts may have offered more incentives in the long run it was being able to access the money and NOT be tided into to any long term contracts that me and my partner agreed upon.
Plans for our children's future.
To ensure that what ever money was set a side for the children's future, it could hopefully work for them by gaining interest. I want me children to be able to access their own money when my partner and I felt that they were ready to mange their own investments and savings.
These are again factors that being a parent I have had to to take into account.
(Time is money.)
Parents that I know...
Most parents I have spoken to, enabled their children to learn the importance of working from a young age and making thier own "Pocket" money.
For some children this starts with having a part time paper round when they reach 13 years old or have a part time job after high school. ( Now is 18 years old)
(information is on the following website below.)
https://www.gov.uk/child-employment
Most of the children I have met and know come from families that are self employed, like my own children. So they have used more creative ways to increase their pocket money.
E.G. Sold their old toys at classic car shows, brought things at auction and used there parents eBay count to sell them.
At school there was one girl who made scarfs and headbands that she sold in the play ground with other children sold cigarettes.
For my children there future will always be in their hands, but it is my job to guide them. It is my job to provided them with skills and training so that one day they can provide and take care of them selves.
Some of ways that I am aiming to do this I have already mentioned. One of the best ways that I learned was though the NHS. It was due to them providing me with some information which is handed out to all new mums "The Bounty Pack" it is very over whelming at first BUT most of the information that it offers really dose come in handy. (If you ever have the time to read it.)
http://www.bounty.com/about-bounty/bounty-packs?gclid=CP2W6IKb4skCFUKfGwodWz8MTQ
The Bounty Pack...
Although most of the information is on line and you have the option to have an on line account with Bounty where you can get all of the latest information on how to care for your child. It helps you to track their progress and help you to observe their developmental goals. It helps you to look out for things like when our child should be walking and advice on how to ween them.
The Bounty Pack should be given to you by your Midwife at around 16 Weeks, once you register on line and put in your (expected due date), you receive emails about things that are relevant to you each week.
You can also enter online competitions and view vouchers that can give you money off some of the items that you may need for your self and your child.
Other useful web sites to subscribe to are.
http://free.emmasdiary.co.uk/1/?gclid=CJaxhZmQkskCFSgMcwodlGYAfAhttps://www.cgbabyclub.co.uk/register?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_campaign=PPCBrandTerms&utm_content=relevant&utm_term=cow_and_gate&PPC=CGBPPCBRAND10_2015&gclid=CL_rlqqQkskCFaHbcgodo9IA6A
Do not worry dad's today they also offer a lot more information for you too, especial information about paternity leave and what to expect about being a dad.
I hope that the information that I have is provided is helpful, thank you for reading and look out for my next blog.
Next blog "Who Lives Under Your Roof? How To Still Have Space Just For You."
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